1. Be Quick
I understand that you might not know what you want to order when I come by your table, but don't sit there umm-ing and uhh-ing before figuring out that it might be a good idea to say "I need another minute". If I check in on you three times to see if you're ready to order, it's not because I'm in a rush and absolutely need to put your order into the computer or risk have my manager breath flames down my neck; it's because I want to be available as soon as you're ready so that you receive the best service possible. But there are some days when I'll be in a hurry, or I'm just not a patient person, so having to stand still for thirty seconds to end up with nothing is a sure-fire way to get me aggravated.
2. Don't Try To Be Funny
If you're told to "take a seat wherever you like" and you respond with "can I sit on the floor?" or "is your lap available?" or in any other method that makes you think that you're being clever, you're wrong. It's not funny, it's not original, and it's painful to force the smile and the "good one, sir. I've never heard that one before" because, let's face it, I've heard it ten times. Today. I'm attempting to do my job and do so as a professional, and it's incredibly tiring, irritating, and a bit belittling to have to listen to your cliche attempts at being funny. So cut to the chase and leave the jokes at home.
3. A Good Tip is 20%
Maybe you're like me where you were raised with the idea that a 10-15% tip was good, and anything above that was reserved for extraordinary service. Things have changed to where your servers are now hoping for a 20% and anything less than that makes you look like an ass. Granted, if you did receive sub-adequate service, you should tip below the expected line!If your server is prompt, polite, checks in regularly, and is always prepared, they deserve 20%. Period.
4. Recognize Where the Fault Lies
If your food comes out late, cold, or under/over cooked, that's not your server's fault, so yelling at her and blaming her (and withholding a tip) is just wrong. If the restaurant is too cold or too hot or the only open seats were at tables and you wanted a booth or the baby at the other table is crying or the bathroom is out of toilette paper are also not faults of your server. If you're not greeted, served, or attended quickly, or receive the wrong food or drink (assuming that your server was the one to bring it to your table), then it's your server's fault and you have more of a right to get angry with her. If it is not your server's fault or responsibility for the problem you're facing, don't take it out on them!!! Feel free to bring things to their attention, but do so politely and assure them that you know where the fault lies.
5. If You Can't Tip, Don't Eat Out
It's amazing how few people understand this logic. If you are going out to eat at a sit-in restaurant where someone takes your order and brings it to you at a table (meaning a waiter that you're expected to tip), you need to factor in a tip into your meal budget for the night. If you leave a $2 tip on a $30 meal, you're going to be viewed as cheap and it's advisable that you avoid that restaurant for a good month or two so that the waitstaff forgets you, because oh boy can we hold a grudge.
In connection to this, leaving a zero tip generally leads to the server thinking that you either forgot or are just a cheap and rude pig. If you received horrible service and want to clue your server in, leave a penny or a nickle: is there's a show of effort of leaving something on the table, but that something is so impressively small, they'll get the message.
6. Turnover is a Server's Best Friend
There are three key points to making money as a server: provide excellent service, up-sell, and turn tables quickly. If you can serve twelve tables during your shift, you have a better chance at making more money than if you only seat ten. As a result, a server's worst enemy is a camper: someone that occupies a table for hours before leaving. The worst part is that campers typically only tip off of their bill, just like the people that have only been in the restaurant long enough to order, eat, and pay. Let's say that the camper's bill is $30 for the three hours that he's been there. Assuming he tips 20%, that's a $6. A $6 for three hours of service. A single $6 tip when four or five tables could have been served during the course of those three hours, leading to somewhere around $30 in tips. Do you see where the problem is? Now, of course the average person is not going to tip $30 for a $30 meal, but the tip should be something higher (considerably higher) than $6 for three hours. Consider adding 5% to the 20% for every hour that you occupy the table.
As a waitress, I'd love to see people understand some of these basic ideas, if nothing else so that I can avoid a few more headaches.
